Tell me whAt is good whats not. and where i should fix.?

Connie at the age of fifteen has the looks of a model . Her long blonde hair ,made her feel confidence in herself. She would walk with her head always facing straight head . She had a smirking expression on her face most of the time. Connie閳ユ獨 word revolved around her. Her appearance means everything to her . Nothing about her could be wrong. She had the habit of looking into mirrors to check her face. Connie閳ユ獨 mother would compare Connie閳ユ獨 actions to June閳ユ獨 . How Connie has less sense. But even then when her mom constantly compare them two Connie would not change her ways.

Connie was like two different persons . Everything to her had two sides, one for home and one for anywhere else out of home. Connie is more focus on being loved by her friends and guys ,then her own family . Her relationship with her mom and sister isn閳ユ獩 great . Nor with her dad he 閳ユ辅as away at work most of the time閳? She always care more about what other people had to say . Connie wanted to get noticed. It made her feel great to be able to ignore guys.

Connie was more interested in having a boyfriend, then the boyfriend . She like to attract attention to herself. She acted much older then her age. She would hang out where the older kids would. Her taste of music , mostly all love songs from the singer Bobby King . Would lead you to think she was a romantic girl. Connie goes from a flirt to becoming a victim

Connie閳ユ獨 character changes , from the pretty conceited girl to a rather more thoughtful Connie. When threatened by a guy she met, Arnold Friend. Her family and her own life is threatened. She thinks to herself 閳ユ窔閳ユ獡 not going to see my mother again閳? The mom she thought was always after her . She Connie was scared to lose her mom . After putting up a fight . Connie accepts the reality and gives in , as she decides to go for a ride.

Arnold Friend seem to be the perfect guy. He claim to be eighteen, though his black shaggy hair along with his facial hair made him look older. His eye lashes were very thick . He dress like all the other normal guys. He wore tight faded jeans, scutted boots and his shirt show his muscular body. That showed off when he drove his gold jalopy convertible.

He had a way with girls. He had all the confidence in the world. He said sweet little things . Which made girls fell in love with him. He always spoke his mind. When he saw a girl that he like he say it out loud. 閳ユ窌onna get you, baby閳?br> Arnold sweet talk his way to get what he wants. 閳ユ返ou閳ユ獧e cute閳? 閳?My sweet little blue-eyed girl 閳? He always knew that nice compliments to say to girls.

Once Arnold didn閳ユ獩 get what he wanted . that閳ユ獨 when the mean , scary ,threatening Arnold came to surface . His voice would be very rude. He even threaten to get what he wants. In his mind everything had to his way. Arnold didn閳ユ獩 like for people to disobey his orders.

Arnold met a girl, who he happen to like a lot. Arnold sure did know a lot about this girl. As if he had been following her . He knew where the girl閳ユ獨 family was at ,who they were, and also all of her friends names. 閳ユ缓e ain閳ユ獩 coming. He閳ユ獨 at a barbecue閳?br> Arnold wanted far more then being friends with this young lady. 閳ユ窔 want you閳?br> He wouldn閳ユ獩 stop till he got that. He is feeling less. He thought what he was doing was a good thing. Any normal person would know that pressuring a girl to do something against her will is a bad thing. Arnold at eighteen surly most know that too . Also any person with the intelligence can see from miles away Arnold friend, was not a actually friend .

He cure sick mind playing games with the fifteen year old was something a person with violence and bad intentions would do.

閿?br>

.

.

Tell me whAt is good whats not. and where i should fix.?

Connie, at the age of fourteen, has the looks of a model. Her long blonde hair made her feel confident about herself. She would always walk with her head facing straight ahead, most of the time with a smirking expression on her face. Connie's world revolved around her. Her appearance meant everything to her, and nothing about her could be wrong. She even had the habit of looking into mirrors to check her face. Connie's mother would compare her actions to June's, and how Connie had less sense. However, even when her mother would compare the two, Connie would still not change her ways. Connie was like two different people; everything about her had two sides. One side she used at home, another one she used when she was anywhere else. Connie is more focused on being loved by everyone else around her, than her own family. Her relationship with her mother and sister is not that great, neither is her relationship with her father. He was almost always away at work. Therefore, she always cared more about what others had to say. Connie wanted to be noticed, and it made her feel great to be able to ignore guys. She was always more interested in getting a boyfriend, than in keeping one. She liked attracting attention to herself, and acted much older than she really was. For this reason, she would always hang out with the older kids. Her taste in music, mainly love songs by Bobby King, would lead others to believe that she was a romantic girl. Connie went from being a flirt to becoming a victim; her character changes, from the pretty, conceited girl to a rather more thoughtful Connie. When threatened by a guy she met, Arnold Friend, both she and her family's lives are now in danger. She even thinks to herself, "I am never going to see my mother again." After putting up a fight, Connie accepts the reality and gives in, deciding to go for a ride.

Arnold Friend seemed to be the perfect guy. He claimed to be eighteen, but his shaggy hair and his facial hair both made him look older. His eyelashes were also very thick. Although, he dressed like all the normal guys; he wore tight, faded jeans and scutted boots. His shirt showed his muscular physique, which he showed off when he drove his gold convertible. Arnold had a way with girls, he had all the confidence in the world. He also said sweet little things, making all the girls fall in love with him. He always spoke his mind, and if he saw a pretty girl, he would always say so. Arnold sweet talked his way into getting what he wanted, such as saying, "You are cute", and "My sweet, little blue-eyed girl". He always knew nice complements to say to girls. However, once he did not get what he wanted. That is when his mean and scary nature finally appeared. His voice became very rude, and he even threatened to get what he wanted. In his mind, everything had to be Arnold's way. Arnold did not like others disobeying him. He met a girl he liked a lot, and Arnold even knew a lot about her. It was as if Arnold had been stalking her. He knew where her family was, who they were, as well as all of the girl's friends. Arnold wanted more than friendship with this girl, thinking to himself how much he wanted her. He was determined not to stop until he got her. He thought he was doing something good, but any normal person would realize that pressuring a girl to do something against her will is a bad thing. At eighteen, Arnold should have known that too. Any person with intelligence can see from miles away how Arnold's friend was not really a friend. He thought that playing sick mind games with the fifteen year old was something a person with violence and bad intentions would do.

Tell me whAt is good whats not. and where i should fix.?

The going rate for proofreading is at least $25 per page. Y! Answers is not paying that much. Proofreading generally does not include literary critique. That would be another $100 per hour. Get back to me when you have the cash.