Can some one please read my short story!?

it's pretty long and has grammer mistakes but if you read the whole thing you will not regret it

EM-PATH

Chapter 2 the break down

Five cloaked figures stud in an open field. One by one they all revealed their faces removing their hoods. The first was a boy he was the tallest of the group and had skin that looked as creamy as milk and his eyes glowed purple in the dark, he also had black shoulder length spiky hair. The second who removed his hood was also a boy. He had brown skin and eyes as red as fire he was fair height bald and had a scare on his left check that seemed to be rather old. The third was also a boy he had Carmel colored skin and emerald green eyes he had hair down to his back that was pulled back into a pony tail and he wore dark marking in his left check he was also the smallest of the three boys. The fourth who removed there hood was a girl she had long silky black hair that was turned into a pony tail at the very tip she had skin like cream a mix between black and white and her eyes were as blue a water it self. The last to remove their hood was also a girl and had shoulder length silver hair and skin as white as snow she had one silver eye and one green eye. Yes but are you sure, axel? Asked the first boy. How many time do I have to say it, yes I閳ユ獡 sure. The vibrations in an aura does not change I can閳ユ獩 see it but I can hear it it閳ユ獨 defiantly his aura it閳ユ獨 over taken the boys. So what do we do ace? Asked the smallest of the three. **** I don閳ユ獩 know I mean I never actually thought that we would find him I thought he was dead all this time, said ace. Well I got an idea, said first girl. What is it now Karin? Asked ace. Well how bout we just go in and give him what he asked for. The second girl began to laugh. What閳ユ獨 so funny Alyssa? I don閳ユ獩 see you coming up with any better ideas, Karin snapped. Well and just what exactly did he ask for? Asked Alyssa. He left us with out a word; he completely turned his back on us and his destiny. Said Karin her voice full of anger. And now he閳ユ獨 hiding out in side the body of a human boy. Said axel laughing a little. He really is a coward, said ace. So I say we find him and give him what閳ユ獨 owed to him, Karin snapped. We can閳ユ獩 just kill him he is the pain keeper with out him. Ace cut his sentence short not wanting to say the next part. He doesn閳ユ獩 know it but he is already taken on so much of the world閳ユ獨 pain the only reason he hasn閳ユ獩 snapped is because of, her, said Alyssa. What do you think Lex? Asked ace.

There was a silence before Lex spoke. Well, he began. We can at least scare him a bit. Alyssa let out a high pitched laugh that sounded something like a hyena every one covered there ears at the sound of it. Damn what the hell is up with your laugh? Karin snapped in frustration. I閳ユ獡 sorry I can閳ユ獩 help it I閳ユ獡 just so excited, said Alyssa with a huge grin plastered on her face.

You should get that checked out, said axel jokingly. I want to see the old Iou not some child, said Karin. Well we can play with him until we force the real Iou to come out, said ace his voice was full of excitement now. Besides we have to wake him up some how, he quickly added.

The next day Emits fourth hour teacher MR. Punkelton asked him to stay after class. Emit didn閳ユ獩 know for sure but he was pretty sure that it was going to be about how he use to be one of his best student閳ユ獨 and now since he had been moved next to kina his grades had decreased dramatically. Emit knew all of this but he didn閳ユ獩 care much all he wanted to do is be with kina and fourth hour was the only time that he could do that well fourth and fifth but two is always better then one and Emit didn閳ユ獩 want to be away from kina anymore then he already was and he didn閳ユ獩 care what any body had to say about it. Besides he needed kina she was like his fix or something the only good thing he ever had and probably would ever get and he would take a thousand F閳ユ獨 if he could spend just an hour alone with her. Why Emit? You use to be one of my best students I just don閳ユ獩 understand it. MR. punkelton said in complete confusion.

Can some one please read my short story!?

It's too hard to read with all the grammar mistakes, but the first bit sounded really good, your description is excellent ;]

Can some one please read my short story!?

that story was completely weird but it was cool. 7/10 from me.

Can some one please read my short story!?

I agree with tash. The grammar is really bad but you can edit it anytime. The story itself is obviously not yet complete. The introduction was good. Reminds me of Harry Potter actually.^_^ However, I can see you were slacking off as the story progressed. Maybe a little more revising will do it.^_^