Sunday, June 20, 2010

What do you think about this poem of mine?

My Minnie Mine



Her hair is like chains of gold



She smiles like sunshine and her attitude is bold



Her strength is her tenderness and her heart is pure and fair



She is truthful and we have true love, that閳ユ獨 rare



Her light she devotes to friends and mostly to God



She has great love for me and I love her so much more every day



Her love is true for me and we embrace our individuality in every way



She lets me lead the relationship and I never have to prod



The things that she does are both all right and sublime. My love, I do love you I have to say



She is my fair maiden, good games with me she loves to play



Maters of the heart she never lets me down



She makes things better for me when ever I frown.



My true love fair with hair of black



Beautiful skin and nothing good she lacks



Her eyes are of chocolate and dark so nice



Her teeth are straight and her discipline is never slack.



I love you so I love you now I love you every way and the love that you may stack.



So remember love as love can be.



My friend, someone so special, but it first starts with me.



My love is Minnie and I love her so



We have been threw heck and back to rescue her I go



Her past loves were of trouble and strife



Because of them she hated love and she regretted life



Her heart was torn and trust was shorn she wanted none of that



When I came to her with lust for life and desires of love



With faith in maters of the Heart and God up above



Friends we first became as I showed her what love can be



She saw my heart and finally saw the inner me



I showed her love and what love could be



We cried at the idea of being parted and the future together started



To be more of a good less of a bad. Soon after she lost both her mom and her dad



She decided to love me and embrace my love that was pure



Her heart was pierced and there was no sadness cure



Except to live out a promise for me, to her, take care



That was the last promise I made to her mom there



It took long nights with prayer and strife



But after 5 years of this she became my wife



Happy ever after is now our life. We still have problems we still have strife but



It is all very bearable as Minnie as my wife.



Her hair is like chains of gold



She smiles like sunshine and her attitude is bold



Her strength is her tenderness and her heart is pure and fair



She is truthful and we have true love, that閳ユ獨 rare



Her light she devotes to friends and mostly to God



She has great love for me and I love her so much more every day



Her love is true for me and we embrace our individuality in every way



She lets me lead the relationship and I never have to prod



The things that she does are both all right and sublime. My love, I do love you I have to say



She is my fair maiden, good games with me she loves to play



Maters of the heart she never lets me down



She makes things better for me when ever I frown.



My true love fair with hair of black



Beautiful skin and nothing good she lacks



Her eyes are of chocolate and dark so nice



Her teeth are straight and her discipline is never slack.



I love you so I love you now I love you every way and the love that you may stack.



So remember love as love can be.



A friend, some special but it first starts with me.



What do you think about this poem of mine?

very nice i liked it.



What do you think about this poem of mine?

Why did you repeat an entire section of the poem?



Check your spelling.



Try harder. Vary your diction. Develop your rhyme scheme and meter. Your inflection shows no pattern.



I can appreciate the subject, and your intent is clear, sweet and honorable, but the poem parallels a middle school effort or a drawn-out Hallmark card.



Since you mention marriage, I surmise that you're at least in your early 20's. There are more elegant ways to express your feelings. Sorry.



What do you think about this poem of mine?

Is it a poem or a descriptive story?????????????????



What do you think about this poem of mine?

Cliche and inconsistent in rhyme and form.



Better luck next time.

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